I am a lover of life and all that it has to offer.. Rachel Gotto
My incredible journey took me to places that left me struggling to hold onto sanity and my life. It took me to places where I fought furiously to save the lives of my dear loved ones and lost them. I have lived the experience of emotional abuse. Illness destroyed my health, forcing me to look death in the face. Paralysed, wheel chair bound and needing full time care my mind was clouded by the medication I needed to remain stable. There was so much to deal with and it seemed there was no way forward. I didn't know who I was for so long. Life happened around me. I was a shadow of a human; numb, shocked, sick, not thinking, just existing on a very elemental level. In essence I didn't recognise the person I had become.
Somewhere inside I was still there and slowly there was a glimmer of hope. I knew there was something more for me and my determination was fueled by my little girls need to have a parent. I needed to survive to help her grow up and live a good life. This, coupled with my innate optimism and strength drove me to recover and create a life worth living. I rose, fell and rose again, time after time.. just keeping going by focussing my eyes on a new horizon, wanting a future of freedom and meaning. Reaching out for support to loved ones and engaging the help of some wonderful therapists all helped me along my way.
The real changes began to happen later, a growing understanding that I could alter my responses internally to these horrible tragedies and traumas. Realizing that the meaning I attached to these events affected how I mentally and physically responded to them. It slowly dawned on me that I could take control of my life. This was such a liberating feeling and I set about becoming the creator of my own destiny by identifying what needed changing and most importantly, altering the way I regarded myself. Becoming my own best friend! I had blamed myself and in my head there was a hugely critical voice and I set about altering it.
It occurred to me that if I could create new neural pathways and learn to use my limbs again then I could make similar changes to my emotional responses. There, I had it, my eureka moment! From that day forwards I was immensely careful about what I allowed in, what I allowed myself to think and say inwardly. Choosing only to be positive, only use words that promoted inner wellbeing. I encouraged myself constantly, becoming my own mentor. It became fun reinventing myself, forming a new relationship with myself and learning to love and accept myself. Hope became my mantra and step by step I guided myself towards a new way of being in the world.
These changes took time and great perseverance but my efforts have paid off because today I am fully recovered, full of life, strong, happy and healthy. Obviously I would rather not have suffered so, but I have grown stronger due to overcoming the obstacles and challenges life has given me. I am so grateful for the good qualities that I may not have developed otherwise and I like and respect the person that I have become. Through all my losses, I have gained much more and for that I'm again grateful. Especially as, through healing my own pain and finding new meaning in my life, I have found my life purpose - that is, working with others who are struggling to help unlock their inner potential and to heal themselves through using this incredible tool, Rapid Transformational Therapy.
Obstacles do not block the path they are the path - Zen Proverb